Have you stopped having people over to your home?

posted 2 Feb 2017, 04:52 by Gwen Montgomery

For many who suffer under the burden of gathering there is a sense of shame – sometimes quite deeply felt.  However, there are certainly those who exhibit great delight in their treasure troves. If they could, they would charge you admission price to see the things they treasure!   Both of these are signs of something deeper that is going on. 

Those who experience a sense of shame often become reluctant to have friends and visitors into their home.  Some continue to entertain by stuffing things into one room or a few corners or out of sight and dismiss it with a wave of their hand while dreading facing the cupboard or pile afterwards – not to mention what might now be lost!  One  of my clients no longer had visits from her daughter as she could;t cope with her mother's hoarding behaviour.   Happy to meet for coffee or lunch or at the daughter's home but it all became too much and led to arguments. The experience of many who have had some help – usually offered – from friends or family members, is that it often ends in tears or strained relationships. 

Since I am known by my friends as a declutterer I have been aware that a few of them struggle with having me in their homes.  As a professional, I know that I have to be unshockable and non-judgemental or the battle is lost at the start.  As a friend, I don't care too much how you choose to live and I'd rather be in your company and home than kept out.  

If some of this sounds familiar, ask yourself a few hard-hitting questions.  For example is your 'stuff' more important than your relationships?  Is your home uncomfortable for others who are visiting?  How can you start changing that today?

Keep decluttering!  
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Gwen Montgomery,
2 Feb 2017, 04:52
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